Undercurrent Affairs.

July 13, 2007

“It’s not working!”, bellowed Edna

over the roar of the turbines. “Give him

another jolt!” screamed Virgil, reaching

through the smoke to wrestle with

Edgar’s arm restraints.

~*~

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85 Responses to “Undercurrent Affairs.”

  1. Parenthesis Says:

    Stakeholder meeting, eh? :)

  2. Jesus Says:

    I really must protest! Far too many of your relatives and acquaintences have turned in the processing hall with surprised expressions on their faces. I’m beginning to suspect that this is no coincidence.

  3. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Just killing time before afternoon tea, Parenthesis.

    Jesus: In your processing hall, dear? I fear there’s been an awful, awful, administrative mix-up. Heads must roll.

  4. ekke Says:

    How about a roll with a head of lettuce?

    *rimshot*

    Okay that was crap.

    *kills self*

  5. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    I’m beginning to detect a pattern here…

  6. ekke Says:

    They should make people write a test or something before they’re allowed onto the internet. Stop people like me…

  7. Parenthesis Says:

    Mrs B: It’s a chequred plaid, yes? :)
    Ekke: surely all one needs is a credit card and some imagination?

  8. ekke Says:

    Depends on which sites you shop at, I suppose…

  9. Jesus Says:

    No, no, not my processing hall. The Processing Hall. There’s just the one. You know – sheep, goats, separation. That sort of thing.

  10. kyknoord Says:

    I hope Virgil was wearing gloves. “Beware of Safety” I always say.

  11. infini Says:

    Trying to make Edgar come up with ideas for your posts again, Mrs B.?

  12. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Parenthesis: or just plain dotty. (‘Chequered’ dear. ‘Chequered’.)

    ekke: actually, I’m riveted by your apparently limitless ability to be lewd around food. Also, I still owe you ten bucks so, you know… keep going. I’ll tell you when the meter stops.

    (Wait, there *was* no intentional innudendo in that last one? *Awkward silence*)

  13. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    God, could you all just type a bit slower, please?

  14. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    JC: Are you trying to tell us you don’t do a little pre-emptive screening beforehand? You know, a little cautionary wheat from chaff segregation before they shuffle off this mortal coil? Oh, shush. You’ll be asking us to believe you can walk on water, too.

    kyknoord: Oh, Virgil hasn’t had any fingers since he discovered Great Aunt Winsome having a bath. In hydrochloric acid. Unfortunate, really.

    infini: he’s not doing a very job though, is he? We may have to be a little more… persuasive.

  15. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    xGW: I hope you’ll exercise some and refrain from dropping any of that icky, poetry-stuff around here, please.

    I have low, low, standards to maintain.

  16. ekke Says:

    You know, I can be incredibly lewd around just about anyting really.

    It’s my gift. My curse. My reason for getting a lot of awkward stares in the produce section.

  17. infini Says:

    hmm, what? I’m still musing on the profundity of kyknoord’s statement “beware of safety” its an oxymoron it is

    ekke homo vegemitis eh?

  18. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    You’re the brussells sprout guy?

  19. ekke Says:

    I can never shop there again.

    *sad face.*

  20. kyknoord Says:

    “…ekke homo vegemitis…” *snort* Oh, that’s very good! Casts the xGW’s “two veg” business in a whole new light, it does.
    (and by the way, technically speaking, a paradox is only considered to be an oxymoron when the words are juxtaposed)

  21. ekke Says:

    gosh.

    I can barely spell the word ‘techniclly’, nevermind those other long ones…

  22. ekke Says:

    See what I did there?

    Now THAT’S comedy.

  23. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Oh, just chat amongst yourselves, dears.

  24. infini Says:

    sorry mrs b., but it was a good giggle it was but think about it, we wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for you

    kyknoord: right, paradox… mea culpa mea maxima culpa

  25. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Oh, you know me – I’m nothing if not accommodating. I’d have thought that was axiomatic.


  26. I don’t think i’ll ever be able to look Fruit & Veg city in the, um, eye ever again.

    Oh man, i need a drink.

  27. Parenthesis Says:

    Apparently I’ve lost the plot …

  28. infini Says:

    Oui Oui, Mrs B.,
    QED
    to bring some poetry
    back into the scene

  29. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    xGW: Here, have some carrot juice – it’ll calm you down.

    Parenthesis, Martin: Sic vita est, dearies, sic vita est.

    infini: Oh noetry!

  30. ekke Says:

    QED?

    Quod Erat Demonstratum. i.e. ‘Look, I proved it, with graphs ‘n shit’

  31. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Okay, who wants to drink beer and talk about Lindsay Lohan rather?

    **burrrp**

  32. infini Says:

    *slinks out in shame for having upset Mrs B in her own blog*

  33. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Yes, there’ll be no reckless anapestic tetrametering or spontaneous prosody around these parts, young lady.

  34. ekke Says:

    Okay. Then how about some Skittles?

  35. Parenthesis Says:

    … anapestic tetrametering or spontaneous prosody Mrs B? Cor blimey.
    I’m impressed. I majored in English Literature at varsity and even I had to look that one up :) And having done so, I think you may want to re-consider, what’s wrong with having some stressed syllables around here … would have thought it was par for the course? :)
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anapestic_tetrameter
    Just think, you could do themed posts featuring the Jabberwocky, the Cat in the Hat and well “T’was the night before Christmas” has UMLIMITED potential.
    Or not. It is your blog after all. Nice one Mrs B!

  36. Parenthesis Says:

    I mean, just think, Virgil, mistletoe, and the ghosts of Christmas past….

  37. ekke Says:

    And some Skittles.

  38. Parenthesis Says:

    Ekke: Pfffffffffffffft :)

  39. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Parenthesis: I know: why don’t you whip us up one of those anapesky tetramathingies and a) provided you keep it to two lines, b) make it gory and c) I like it, I’ll stick it up on t’inch. Eventually. No, really. Probably.

    Just no “pffffffffff”ting, okay?

    ekke: And skittles. Here, have a pretzel. **burrrrrp**

  40. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    And Parenthesis, no more flippen’ links that extend out the side and mar my lovely layout, either. ; )

  41. Parenthesis Says:

    Aw shucks Mrs B, really? How about I whip up one of anapesky tetramathingies and a) provided I keep it to two lines, b) make it gory and c) I like it, I’ll let you post it here. For posterity. Or possibly as a warning to others of what happens to pesky, lippy, tetchy kids?
    I shall go forth and anapesculate forwith.
    *skips out the door*

  42. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    In that case: nahhh.

  43. Parenthesis Says:

    Ooh Mrs B. Now there’s an idea. Why not run a little competition, in which you get your readers to give you their definition of “anapesculate”. Just think what fun could be had?* I’d even co-sponsor a little prize.
    * I suggest you disqualify Ekke from participating however.
    ** Just disqualify Ekke from participating. See ping back and associated comments above for why :)

  44. Parenthesis Says:

    Ooh Mrs B. Now there’s an idea. Why not run a little competition, in which you get your readers to give you their definition of “anapesculate”. Just think what fun could be had?* I’d even co-sponsor a little prize.
    * I suggest you disqualify Ekke from participating however.

  45. Parenthesis Says:

    Sorry. Will links that run vertically be acceptable? :)

  46. ekke Says:

    Wait.

    Hang on.

    Whooooaaaaa nelly.

    I get the feeling I am being done in. WTF IS A ‘PING’ WHEN IT’S AT HOME????

    And what comments?

    And why disqualification?

    I’M A VERY NICE BOY IN REAL LIFE WHEN I’M NOT TYPING IN CAPITALS.

    *runs off*
    *cries*
    *dies*

    sad. :( <– SEE!!!

  47. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    ekke: A ‘ping’ is a… is a… here, have another pretzel.

    (I believe Parenthesis is referring to a) the comments you left on b) her site and c) I’m all about the lists today. Also, g) you should probably take it up with her. f), I’m just sayin’)

  48. ekke Says:

    Besides, everyone knows that ‘anapesculate’ means you just eunich’ed a fish.


  49. ok, you okes seriously need to do some work, mmmkay????

  50. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Congratulations! Had there actually *been* a competition, I’d have given you a paper hat and like, a squillion non-redeemable Internet Dollars, or something.

    And some skittles.

    It’s a shame there isn’t one, though.

  51. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    xGW: C’monjust5moreminutes…

  52. Parenthesis Says:

    Work GW?
    You know how much time and effort goes into the little ingots we leave on this here site? The blood. The sweat. The tears*

    And I agree Mrs B, that is a bloody brilliant definition for “anapesculate”.

    * I could write an entire volume I tell you.

  53. ekke Says:

    I’m having winnings now plz?

  54. infini Says:

    I’m obviously the winner here

    *elbows ekke and pushes parenthesis aside*

    me me me me

    tee hee!

  55. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Did you bring your wallet?

  56. ekke Says:

    Of course. I’ll get the blow and hookers, but this time I’m not paying for any of the dead ones…

  57. Parenthesis Says:

    Ekke: I really hope you are referring to fishing equipment there. Really. You’re in enough trouble elsewhere to want to cause more here :)

  58. ekke Says:

    I, er, was talking about, um, you know. Wossname. Thingy.
    No trouble here, ma’am.

    Oh no not me.

  59. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Rule 97: Dead things may be discussed between the hours of 09:00 and 13:45 (GMT + 2). (For reanimated entities, see appendix D)

    Rule 403, appendix B: The right to discuss chocolate logs has been repealed. The penalties for non-compliance shall be swift and severe.

  60. ekke Says:

    It’s hard being the new guy.

  61. infini Says:

    wallet, wallet, wallet… sigh, for love or money as the old saying goes, but there’s no love for me

    *deeper sigh*

  62. Parenthesis Says:

    Oooh. Appendices. Dangerous things, those :)

  63. ekke Says:

    I once saw a guy whose appendix asploded on a trampoline and and it came out his belly button.

    True story.

    Sort of.

  64. Parenthesis Says:

    Ekke: I’m guessing that that would be the “I once saw a guy” part. Tut tut. What are we going to do with him Mrs B?

  65. Parenthesis Says:

    And I meant appendices, as in plural of appendix. The ones Mrs B was referring to. Ask any lawyer, appendices are hell incarnate :)

  66. ekke Says:

    I could suggest something but I’d get shouted at.

    Apparently it’s abuse of marine life or something. :(

  67. ekke Says:

    I need to learn how to engage the clutch on my brain before opening my mouth. Typing. You know.

  68. infini Says:

    are you sure it was an appendice and not a hermia? ;p

  69. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Or a rejected first draft of Alien.

    (Fine. infini, Parenthesis: you can each have a paper hat and a squillion non-redeemable Internet Dollars, too. Don’t spend it all in one place, okay?)

  70. infini Says:

    wow!! thanks Mrs B.

    *toots horn, throws confetti*

  71. infini Says:

    ah, Mrs B, just noticed the usage of “squillions”… er have I been outed from teh blue? ;p

  72. ekke Says:

    I’m just shocked. Infini has a tootable horn?
    Gosh.

  73. infini Says:

    oh yah ekke, I made it out of a cucumbur and some pumpkin ;p

  74. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    infini: Mayyyyybe. (Send me your ID and pin number and I’ll confirm it for you.)

    ekke: Wow. That was a remarkably restrained response from you, all things considered. Try not to blow it.

  75. Parenthesis Says:

    Euphemisms, I see euphemisms everywhere nowadays.
    *sigh*

  76. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    I see passed away people.

  77. Parenthesis Says:

    There’s a case in point :)

  78. ekke Says:

    “Try not to blow it.”
    “cucumber”
    “sigh”

    Oh dear lordy…

    Imma need a little lie-down shortly…

  79. infini Says:

    ok Mrs B don’t start a derail on silly redundancies there … *notes to self, erk!!! must watch it*
    *ps to self, find a sockpuppet*

  80. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    I have a Sock Monkey.

  81. infini Says:

    that sounds vaguely disturbing, i’m *so* looking forward to tomorrow!

  82. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Don’t be alarmed, dear. I only bring it out on special occasions.


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