July 10, 2008
Urgent and mysterious circumstances compel me, Benitez, to stuff a pigskin valise and flee this town, the rain, and the Internet, until further notice. Say, Monday. Abnormal service will resume as soon I resume, that’s all I’m allowed to say. Apologies for the short notice, but when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Don’t break anything. Don’t torch anything. Those are not raisins.
Auf Wiedersehen, pets.
July 4, 2008
“Watch out for the third-floor rapids!” whooped Virgil,
paddling past the dining room on a wingback.
“I wonder if Edna’s still in the cellar?”, Edgar mused,
splashing a little, as a prosthetic leg and
the collected works of W. Somerset Maugham
eddied gracefully around a side table.
June 13, 2008
“Stick to your lanes – and no jostling”, hissed Coach Falconetti,
handing stocking caps and a crowbar to the 4th Grade Relay Team.
“Now, let’s bring home some silverware!”
May 16, 2008
“The Carnival’s back in town”, said Mother, casually,
“you aren’t still upset about the thing with the bear, are you?”.
“Of course not” snapped father, “but I do hope your sister’s
brought her own beard trimmer this time”.
May 9, 2008
Edgar asked to be buried between Augie Podgórny
and the Feuerbachs. “You’ve got your snorkel and
a peppermint”, said Virgil, swatting a clod with his shovel,
“we’ll be back for you on Thursday”.
May 2, 2008
“Ain’tcha getting a little warm in that coat, Ma’am?”,
stammered the cowhand, pompadour glistening in the moonlight.
“I’m not going to bite, dear”, I whispered, flashing an incisor,
then drowned out his moans with a howl.
April 25, 2008
“Someone’s moved my sewing casket”, grumbled
Mother, descending into the parlour with a hisss.
“Mmmmph… mmmphmmm…mmmph” suggested Edgar
from behind the ornamental rhododendron.