Many Unhappy Returns.

July 6, 2007

“Pass me a cigarillo and a gift tag”,

Mother panted, leaning on the lid of the casket.

“We could just get Edgar a pony”, I proffered

casually, hammering Postmaster Erubiel’s

fingers until they retracted.


Extra! On that note, Mrs Benitez would like to wish the extravagantly talented, dubiously-monikered, Ex Granny Wrangler a fabulous and felicitous birthday tomorrow: may the champagne flow freely, the gunfire be subdued, and your lawn be littered with loose men bearing HobNobs, my dear.


45 Responses to “Many Unhappy Returns.”

  1. A thousand thanks for your dark and devastating felicitations madame. Loose men yes, although the ‘hob’ part could be somewhat superfluous ;)

  2. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    A girl’s gotta eat sometime.

  3. Martin Says:

    Isn’t Felicitation that one character from 7de Laan?

  4. Martin Says:

    Oh, and no comment whatsoever on the rest of your illicit conversation. Shocking.

  5. infini Says:

    Shocking indeed, Martin, n’est ce pas? This Mrs B., she is ze veritable genius, I say… pass me a cigarrillo dearie, need a nicotine jolt

  6. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Martin: I have no idea what you’re talking about. None whatsoever.

    infini: should you be playing with matches, dear?

  7. infini Says:

    no, Mrs B., but since I’m such a lady, there’s always a suitably poised gentleman hovering and ready just to spark their lighters into flame for moi


  8. Parenthesis Says:

    I’ll try not to sulk all things considered. I mean Kyknoord, yes, the Ex-GW, yes, me, no. Nada. Nothing. Niks. Haikona. I’m definitely feeling unloved Mrs B … :(

  9. Parenthesis Says:

    And since I’m not having anymore, 32* being the age I’d like to remain forwith, next year is out too :(
    *Well 23 actually, but we can’t have EVERYTHING now can we? :)

  10. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    infini: as it should be be. I do hope you extinguish your gentlemen properly before retiring, though. One can’t be too careful when working with an open flame.

    Parenthesis: what is this? Chopped liver? :|

  11. infini Says:

    ah mrs B., verily, the truism of your words of advice are borne out by the juxtaposition of your comments ;p

  12. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Of course they are, infini. Of course they are.

  13. Parenthesis Says:

    Chopped liver, hardly Mrs B. It’s a Chivy, anyone can see that :)

  14. kyknoord Says:

    A chew toy! How novel.

  15. hedwig Says:

    Hobnobs is across the road from where I live……

  16. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Parenthesis: Close. It’s a ‘Chivvy’.

    kyk: A comment! How novel.

    hedwig: unless it’s covered in chocolate and something you’d want to dunk in your tea, I’d consider running away before it crosses over to your side…

  17. ekke Says:

    Damn. You peeple use reelly big wurds. :(

  18. Parenthesis Says:

    Somehow I find the idea of chocolate covered Hobnobs very um, tempting …

  19. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    So do I.

    I hope we’re talking about the same thing.

  20. Parenthesis Says:

    Oh I am guessing that we are Mrs B, I’m guessing we are :)

  21. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    While we’re on the subject of comestibles: how was your blog-fe(a)st on Saturday, dearie? C’mon, spill the beanz.

  22. Parenthesis Says:

    Do you like Chocolate Logs as well? :)

  23. ekke Says:

    Ew. That’s kinda gross.

    I’m getting aroused.

  24. Parenthesis Says:

    It was lovely. You and young Martin and old KN missed a splendid nosh up, and I must say, the red wine flowed freer than, er whatever flows freely. Classy, cultured it was not, but loverlllllllllllllllllly nonetheless. I served drunken berries, vanilla ice-cream and chocolate sauce for dessert, the availability of Hobnobs being what they are – now a days. You mist ring fence the next one in your diary!

  25. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Parenthesis: You’ve been snacking on those drunken berries at work again, haven’t you? (And thank you, but I doubt I’ll ever be able to eat again. No really, thanks.)

    ekke: Double-ew.

  26. infini Says:

    Mrs B., strongly recommend you lock up the Vicks, then, even the fumes are affecting your commenters it seems

  27. Parenthesis Says:

    I was referring to chocolatey biscuity confectionery not – well – whatever it is YOU and Infini are referring to :)

  28. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    infini: You’ve arrived just in time. My readers are revolting.

    Parenthesis: Do. Not. Speak. To. Me.

  29. Parenthesis Says:
    But I still plead innocence :(

  30. infini Says:

    sort of like the peasants in Civ III?

    hmmm, pass me the pitchfork, will you, Edgar, time I stepped up and rounded up the Chivvys . Oh, and hold the ham up higher, don’t want you getting bitten off at the knees, now.

  31. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Exactly like the peasants in Civ III.

    Q: What do you call a guy whose legs were bitten off at the knees?

    A: Neill!

    (Thangyew, thangyew, etc.)

  32. infini Says:

    *muffles unwarlike giggle*

    now that’s revolting… but we’ll let that pass. How’s the boiling oil in the cauldron coming along, dear?

  33. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Oh, I don’t think I could eat tonight.

  34. […] Quote of the day: July 9, 2007 Posted by Parenthesis in Digital detritus, Bits ‘n bobs, Link-o-rama. trackback Via The Crayola Diaries [Ekke]: […]

  35. Parenthesis Says:

    Sorry Mrs B, had a couple of windows open and was not paying attention, and posted the last past of a comment here, without meaning to do so. Silly me :)

  36. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Everyone makes mistakes.

    At least, that’s what Mother yells out every time I toss a fresh biscuit into the pit for her.

  37. infini Says:

    Mrs B., I know its not friday yet but I need some of your morbid, gloomy goodness in my life. I’m grieving for the death of a vision. The philosophical assumptions on which a particular value system was constructed were tested. They broke spectacularly, and fell, screaming, to their death, hundreds of feet below, on to the rocks at the bottom of the craggy cliff, splintering into millions of tiny pieces, glinting in the sun, with unshed tears.

  38. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    infini: I’m sorry to hear that. Here, maybe this will help:

    Q: What do you call a guy who’s been run over by a Rotovator?

    A: Shaun!

    (No, really. I am sorry to hear that.)

  39. infini Says:


    (no, seriously, I’m mourning and in grey weeds, but LOL)

  40. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    I love grey. It brings out the colour of my cheeks.

  41. infini Says:

    I prefer Miss Clairol, it offers 100% grey coverage in just 5 minutes. No ammonia too!

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