June 13, 2008
“Stick to your lanes – and no jostling”, hissed Coach Falconetti,
handing stocking caps and a crowbar to the 4th Grade Relay Team.
“Now, let’s bring home some silverware!”
February 8, 2008
Edgar gave Olive Cortina’s hand another squeeze.
“Lend me that for a minute”, whispered Virgil,
and nudged it into a popcorn carton
in the next row down.
Update: I blew in and out of the launch faster than the South-Easter, but not before I got to grab a glass, say hello, and drop a press-hot copy of the book into Jesse’s hand for her John Hancock. I was expecting the usual inscription – you know: firstborn; half the royalties; how I inspired an entire generation of writers and illustrators, but… no. All I got was a lousy signature. That aside, the book is every bit as marvellous as anticipated – and then some. You should run, RUN, to get your copy here, and limited edition prints here.
One Step Closer to the Grave: Thanks to everyone who managed to crack the veil of secrecy and dispatch such kind wishes – and in some cases, gob-smackingly generous sacri… gifts – for my birthday. (And special thanks to Kyk for mentioning me in the same panel as the Grim Reaper and the FSM. I can die happy now.) Most fabulous of you, dears – I’m touched. Also, quite grateful.
Next Week: Less chatter. More splatter.
February 1, 2008
Oh… ah, hah hah… Is it Friday? Already?
So. I’ve tried staring at my monitor until droplets of blood form on my forehead. Drunk three cups of coffee in under an hour. And bought something I can’t afford on The Internet. And still… nothing resembling a post. Nada. Niks. The well is dry. The ship has fled the port, the eggs have set, the, er… psychiatrist is in.
Before I head off for a restorative Margarita, some recreational flagellation, and a drill press, here’s a little something to keep your spirits up in the meantime. Wait, this one. No, no, one of these. (Thanks, Kyknoord. Thanks a lot.)
I’m counting the days.
October 26, 2007
ridiculous outfits every Halloween”, snapped Father
as Mother zipped him into his Innocuous Passer-by®
costume. “What in blazes is wrong with my Leisure Cape
Happy Halloween, dears!
May 4, 2007
parked cars while Mum was at the
supermarket. “That’s lovely, dears”,
she said as they handed her a baby and
a tyre iron, “but we’re running out of space
in the cutlery drawer”.
February 9, 2007
to a nice young couple.
They sent it back and asked for one
without a bullet hole.