June 13, 2008
“Stick to your lanes – and no jostling”, hissed Coach Falconetti,
handing stocking caps and a crowbar to the 4th Grade Relay Team.
“Now, let’s bring home some silverware!”
May 30, 2008
“Three Ds and a C”, Edgar mumbled, reluctantly
surrendering the Report Card. “Three Disinterments and a Cremation!”
exclaimed Father, dabbing his cheeks with a blindfold,
“Son, we may just get you that new bicycle after all!”.
April 4, 2008
Virgil slipped away from Toxicology class and was
discovered behind the bicycle shed, smoking.
“Polyester?”, panted Matron Böhmer, splashing on
some well water and beating him with a sack.
March 28, 2008
October 19, 2007
“Oh, you’ll adore the Mary Celeste”
said Mother, applying a bloodied thumb to
my BTCTCF (Bermuda Triangle Class Trip Consent Form)
with unusual enthusiasm. “Now, let’s get you into
a lead vest, and some Dramamine.”
August 17, 2007
“Splendid news”, announced Edgar glumly,
“I’ve been cast as the Headless Horseman in our
end-of-term play. “Marvellous“, cooed Mother,
patting down his cowlick, “Father oiled
his guillotine just this morning.”
August 11, 2007
“Is that what I think it is?”, rasped Edna
with a sideways glance at the prefect
face-down in his pudding bowl.
“Yes”, we chorused happily:
“Blaise Quimbly’s Custard Surprise!”