Better Late…

August 3, 2007

The Spanish Inquisition was

Ms. Bororquia’s favourite period in history.

She’d read passages from her diary while the rest of us

hogtied the hall monitor and warmed up

the curling tongs.



62 Responses to “Better Late…”

  1. infini Says:


    My favourite Mel Brooks scene ever – the singing and dancing Spanish Inquisition bit!

    Bring on the curling tongs!

  2. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    My, but you are quick on the uptake, dear.

    Yes, the lovely, scrummy, Tomas de Torquemada. *sigh*

    I’d forgotten all about the History of the World, Part I… I also adore the Monty Python skit where they burst in with “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!” Fantastic.

  3. Parenthesis Says:

    Why does “Better late than never” – a rather harmless common garden variety phrase suddenly seem ominous? Am so glad you’re back Mrs B :)
    That sad, pray tell, how does one hog tie a mirror? I’m guessing silk ties may be involved, but probably not those upon which a humorous Warner Brothers cartoons has been embrodiered, eh?

  4. Parenthesis Says:

    Said, said, not sad.
    Although on second thoughts …

  5. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    I’m glad to be back, Parenthesis. It’s always so tiresome when one is unexpectedly… detained.

    A ‘mirror’? Is my handwriting really that bad? ‘Hall monitor’, girl – ‘hall monitor’.

  6. The xGW Says:

    One too many Pinot Grigios over lunch and I am in *no* position to understand what’s going on. But Cheers! Sante! Salud!


  7. Parenthesis Says:

    Oh well.
    School ties then ;)

  8. Parenthesis Says:

    Apparently I need a hearing AND glasses.
    And me having just foresworn accessories ….

  9. Parenthesis Says:

    Hearing aid.
    Hall monitor.

  10. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    That’s okay, xGW – we’ll type slowly so you and Gran’ma Parenthesis over there can keep up.

  11. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Choking now, are you? Here, let me give you a good thump, dear. With this baseball bat.

  12. Parenthesis Says:

    Talk about feeling the love ;)

  13. infini Says:

    *sigh* isn’t it fun when the thought of screwed thumbs can bring the old gang back… missed you Mrs B

    I still don’t understand where the mirror came from…

  14. infini Says:

    btw parenthesis, there is a distinctly ominous undertone to that “better late…” business, isn’t there? I smell something funny… and no, it isn’t XGw’s winy breath ;p

  15. The xGW Says:

    oioioioiOI!! My breath smells of garlic I’ll have you know!

  16. infini Says:

    well I don’t know about that, xGW, we’d to ask soldier boy about the exact smell now, wouldn’t we? ;p

    *wonders if Mrs B would use curling tongs to get the answer*

  17. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    infini: it’s like they say: no pain, no gain.

    xGW: Oh, we’re quite used to that around here – crosses, garlic, flaming torches… my neighbours are a little excitable.

    infini, again: no need. Another couple of Pinots and she’ll be spilling those beans herself.

  18. Parenthesis Says:

    Beans. Hmm. I always thought wine = grapes. Shows you how wrong a person can be.

  19. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    I know. Isn’t it incredible how much it ends up looking like beans (okay, peas) and carrots, though?

  20. Parenthesis Says:

    I must introduce you to friend Carl. He once regurgitated a vienna. Whole. And oddly enough most of the rest of us followed suit shortly thereafter [on the regurgitating part, not the vienna]. There are some things you should not have to experience, wine or no. Or was that tequila? ;)

  21. Martin Says:

    So Mrs B, where were you unexpectedly restrained?

    Oh sorry, I mean detained?

  22. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    That’s very kind of you, Parenthenfurter. Regrettably, we’ve already confirmed the Texan Chainsaw Jugglers (“No Hands! No, Really!”) for our Walpurgisnacht soirée. I’ll keep him in mind for next year, though.

    Martin: Oh, just some silly little Court Order thing. I really don’t see what all the fuss is about – people disappear all the time.

  23. kyknoord Says:

    Curling tongs? Soldering iron on the fritz again?

  24. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    I believe the 4th form Biology class had first dibs on the soldering iron, dear.

  25. ekke Says:

    Snotty bastards always had first go with the cool stuff.

    We just had to make do with paper clips, a watch battery and a plastic ladle.

  26. Parenthesis Says:

    Ekke: you have no idea how much you’ve just revealed about yourself there ;)

  27. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    ekke: we’ll give you an ‘E’. For ‘effort’.

    Parenthenthingy: I have no idea how much he’s just revealed about himself, either. Why don’t you elaborate?

  28. ekke Says:

    Please. I’m curious as hell – How *do* science projects give one an outline as to a person’s personability?

  29. infini Says:

    Its that plastic ladle that’s the giveaway, plastic doesn’t conduct electricity, tsk tsk ekke, one had higher hopes of you.

  30. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Our baker was electrocuted just last week. Such a shame. I hear he stood on a bun and a currant ran up his leg…

  31. Parenthesis Says:

    ” … hear he stood on a bun and a currant ran up his leg…”
    Oh Mrs B! That’s priceless – a pune!! Sheeeeeeeer brilliance ;)

    Ekke: As to elaborating on my earlier comment, not a chance. Last time I had to make a public apology for mis-construing and euphemising, I’ll leave it to your imagination, feel free to jump to as many conclusions as you like;)

  32. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    You said “jump”! *snigger!*

  33. Parenthesis Says:

    Not the cable kind Mrs B ;)

  34. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Oh, now that’s just beyond the pale!

  35. Parenthesis Says:

    There’s a bucket involved?

  36. Parenthesis Says:

    Or worse, an Albino?

  37. ekke Says:

    That’s someone that eats a lot of Albany, right?

  38. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Actually, I’m rather fond of the people of Albania.

  39. ekke Says:

    Me too. I just can’t eat a whole one.

  40. infini Says:


  41. ekke Says:


    Speak engrish, dammit.

  42. infini Says:

    i’se a furriner, wots engrish hein?

  43. ekke Says:

    it’s like being angry, but only slightly.

  44. Parenthesis Says:

    Mayonnaise, eh Mrs B? I would have thought that Orly whip was more appropriate?

  45. The xGW Says:

    whipping? jumper leads? plastic ladles? soldering irons??? Where HAVE I been???

  46. ekke Says:

    O RLY? YA RLY.

    Me = 1337, yo.

  47. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    xGW: we were about to send out a search party, fancy pants.

  48. Parenthesis Says:

    Ekke: you’ve lost me there friend.

  49. ekke Says:

    you don’t know about leet-speak?

  50. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Because you’ve just been pwn’d, B1FF. ;)

  51. ekke Says:


  52. infini Says:

    oh god, next thing you know, there’ll be a lolcat here *urgh*

  53. The xGW Says:

    oh i *love* the smell of LSD in the morning.

  54. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    infini has a point (as does… er,The xGW): there’ll be no lolling, no *ack* kittens, no cuteness of any kind on my watch. Understood?

    Now, *clap, clap*, straighten up, tummies in, and repeat after me: Be pure! Be vigilant! Behave!

    That is all.

  55. Parenthesis Says:

    Let it be noted that I was here for this week’s installment.
    I’m just saying ;)

  56. ekke Says:

    Ek ook.

    God, I sound like The Librarian.

  57. infini Says:

    Its friiiiiiiiiiiiiidaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Mrs B… come out come out wherever you are… we’re waaaaaaaiiiiiiiitinggggggg

    ~ faithful fannish follower aka internet stalker type ;p

  58. Mrs. Benitez Says:

    Thank you, dears – I’ve always wanted a couple of stalkers. And a librarian.

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